My Nursing Sister, Margaret Spurgeon, and my Speech Therapist Sarah Stevens, had just changed my prosthetic in-dwelling valve in the Trachea, and were about to fit the hands-free equipment, when Margaret decided to ensure the valve was fitted correctly, by inserting that dreadful sight-probe up the nose, which went down into the back of the throat, to have a close look at the oesophagus, and the other end of the valve and that the flange was firmly fitted. A ghastly procedure, with much gagging by yours truly, but I thought worthy of a poem.


By Len A.Hynds

"The in-dwellings in" said Sarah with glee,
so let us begin to fit his hands free."

"No Sarah, not yet, let us make sure,
the probe I can get, it's only next door."

So Margaret went, and got that long pipe,
at one end the vent, that I saw her wipe,

Then right up my nostril, a gleam in her eye,
from way in the doorway, I gave a long sigh.

"Hello, a light I see, but please have no fear,
it's silly old me, coming out of your ear."

Sarah whispered, "Reverse Margaret, go back,
your driving gets worse, shall I have a crack.

But Margaret won’t leave, the driving seat,
gripping the wheel and firm on her feet.

"The pacemakers there, all shiny and bright,
ticking quite fair, no cuckoos in sight."

"The metallic heart valves I see, clanking away,
though the kidney wall is going grey."

"Hello! What’s this, been chewing gum?
Sorry, wrong turning, I'm down in the tum."

Sarah said sadly, "Your under the chest,
I've no jurisdiction below the breast."

"Margaret you know, his eyes are watering,
and I think you should know, his breath is faltering."

"Never mind that, let's take some snaps,
get the long tripod, it's under those wraps."

"With this procedure, you must get acquainted,
why that cowardly Len, he has surely fainted," !!!!!!!